I'm back, I had a head injury during a soccer game, I was very dizzy for over a week, but it's all good now
This time it was an ActiveX control (we're still fighting with ActiveX controls), I thought I had done everything I needed to do to get it up and working, but it would simply not load, so I loaded Filemon to see if it was even referencing the dll file, and it found two references, one to the GAC folder, and one to the program files\Internet Explorer, but no reference to where we actually copied the dll.
So I decided to copy the dll to where IE was looking for it, I copied the file to
c:\program files\Internet Explorer\
and everything started working wonderfully
I guess I could've added it to the GAC too, but I was very frustrated at that point since I thought I had tried that before and still wasn't working.
anyway... I guess that's another trick you can try when you have tried everything else deploying your ActiveX control, use filemon to see where IE is actually trying to load your dll from, and copy it there
and if you still don't know what filemon is, you owe it to your self, it's an amazing tool, it will save you many hours of headache (just not the ones caused by injuries during a soccer game J)